Just what is their purpose?
Relationships: What are they; What on earth is their purpose?
According to WorldNetWeb (Princeton.edu) Relationship - a relation between people; a state of connectedness between people (especially an emotional connection); a state involving mutual dealings between people or parties or countries; kinship: (anthropology) relatedness or connection by blood or marriage or adoption
Lets start with the first part of the definition:
A relation between people. That's pretty simple. A relationship is a relation between people. Relation.
Next we have a state of connectedness between people. Connectedness
A state involving mutual dealings between people or parties or countries. We are going to stick with people for now. Mutual dealings.
Kinship (anthropologically)- through blood or marriage or adoption.
Relation - Connectedness - Mutual Dealings - Kinship
Types of Relationships we tend to have over the course of our lives:
Family - these are our first relationships. They last throughout our entire lifetime. (kinship, connectedness, relation, and mutual dealings) and these meet all the pieces of the definition above.
Friends - As we go outside our family unit we start to make friendships with others. These relationships can be for a short period of time, or can last for years. They can include friends from school, work, mutual interests, and others. These relationships meet the connectedness, relation and sometimes mutual dealings pieces of the definition.
Intimate Relationships - this includes intimate girlfriend or boyfriend, significant other, spouse, lover, or any other intimate relationship. These, too, can be short term or last for a very long time. These relationships also meet the connectedness, relation and mutual dealings - and can be kinship through marriage.
These are the relationships we are most familiar with. We know we have these relationships and these are the relationships we seek to work on.
There are two other types which you may not be as aware of.
Strangers, those we pass on the street, those we stand in line with - Yes, these are relationships as well. They can easily evoke a response from us and can meet the definition of relationship in connectedness, &/or mutual dealings.
Ourselves - We too often forget we have a relationship with ourselves. This is the relationship we are working at every minute of every day of our lives. All other relationships are really about our relationship with ourselves. And, this meets all the aspects of the above definition - relation, connectedness, mutual dealings, and kinship.
YES ALL OF OUR RELATIONSHIPS are really about OURSELVES.
At any given time we can go from our highest highs, to our lowest lows. And many of us will look to someone or something else as the cause of these highs and lows.
Here is the paradox - It seems as though something or someone else caused me to feel really good or really bad; but someone or something else cannot cause me to feel really good, or to feel really bad. I am the one with the feelings. I am the one who chooses my responses and reactions. The other person or occurrence may have been the 'catalyst', but I am the one who chooses - decides - how to respond.
Once I realize this, I begin to see how all of my relationships help me to understand myself better.
Once I start to better understand myself I can be my true self more.
Once I become more my true self my relationships will flow so much easier - because I am no longer emoting at myself.
When you have an opportunity or a decision to make, always choose in favor of what will bring you closer to who you truly are...your relationship with yourself.
You will never be disappointed
To find out more about Relationships and Relationship Coaching go to: http://www.total-lifecoach.com/relationship-coaching.html
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